


Keep You

by melikaioke



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melikaioke/pseuds/melikaioke
Summary: I was actually trying to work off a prompt that lilacmermaid posted; Leanne's state of mind after making that phone call is bleaker than be cured by one short chat with Jesse. But naturally it took a different turn. SO, I'm just gonna roll with it, and I hope you all enjoy it. Set after 2x4 Demons and Angels.





	

Leanne stared at her cell phone, she had just gotten done telling Charlotte's mother that she couldn’t save her daughter. The rip of the scream that came from the other end echoed in her mind -- causing her to close her eyes and drop her head. It was a scream of a heart breaking into a million pieces, a scream of agony that no one understood unless you lost a child. A scream, that she was too familiar with. The conversation was brief, mostly silent on Leanne’s part, she declared that if Charlotte’s mother needed anything she should call. And just like that, it was over. She should go home, but she couldn’t will herself to move from her chair, to tear her eyes away from the cell phone that had gone black fifteen minutes ago. It was her fault that Charlotte had been victim of a madman, and no one could convince her otherwise. 

The knock on her office door caused her to jump, her eyes peeling away from her cell phone to the figure of Jesse. A figure that was usually comforting and inviting -- but at this particular moment it was far from. She didn’t want to see anyone, she didn’t want to hear the words that it wasn’t her fault, that she did everything she could do. All she wanted was to be left alone, but by the looks of it she wasn’t going to get that particular wish. 

❝You want a ride home?❞ 

Licking her lips Leanne shook her head once. Her small hand reaching up and grabbing her phone from the desk surface. Getting up from her chair she slipped her phone into the scrubs pocket of her pants. Shutting the desk light off she made her way towards the door, Jesse’s hand on her shoulder stopping her. ❝Jesse, _please_. ❞ 

❝Don’t beat yourself up with this Leanne -- it wasn’t your fault.❞

But it was. She could have let Charlotte work with Malaya and Guthrie. Kept her on the trauma floor working in sides with a second year’s supervision. But instead she had sent her in the waiting room, trying to relieve the overflow of the Halloween crowd. Dropping her head lightly she pursed her lips, ❝Goodnight Jesse.❞ She felt the weight of his hand slip from her shoulder. Leanne left him standing in her dark office as she made her way to the attendings locker room. She felt numb, and it felt as though it took every fiber of her being to change from her scrubs back into her street clothes. As she stepped outside she winced at how bright it was, dawn had been two hours ago -- the crisp sun blaring down. Inhaling sharply she made her way to her car, instead of going home she made her way to a solitude she hadn’t visited in quite a while. In fact, the last time she had gone had been with Neal -- a memory too far gone. 

Turning towards Griffith Park she made her way up the winding mountain road that would lead her to the Observatory. She was thankful for the emptiness, a few cars were in the lot -- absent hikers enjoying the cool morning. Parking closer to the entrance she shut her car off and grabbed her bag, heading towards the dome shaped building. Many nights, and days had been spent here. First with the kids, exploring the wonders of space, then alone, trying to heal the emptiness their lives left, and then with Neal. He had helped her move on, helped her when nothing else seemed too -- and now he was gone, just like the rest of them. Going to the left of the building she headed up the ramp that would eventually go towards the telescope. The sign still slightly illuminated. Setting down her bag she leaned her elbows against the wall, her hazel eyes taking in the familiar skyline of Los Angeles. Biting her bottom lip she felt the tears slip from the coroners of her eyes, the feeling of pain flooding her body. She felt her throat tighten and she leaned forward, her hands going to her forehead for support. The silence overlapped her, trying to help her forget the gunshot that echoed through the waiting room, the realization that Charlotte had been shot. The hasty work she had done in center stage, and the way her voice cracked when she called time of death. 

Leanne’s face contorted wickedly as she let out a sob - one that was pained, and filled with emotions that had been compacted down. Everything that had happened in the short amount of time, Neal leaving without a word, Mike falling and being in a coma, the change made in her emergency room -- and now Charlotte. Her sobs had become so overwhelming that she didn’t hear the person approach her, not until a hand was placed on her shoulder. A warm, familiar hand -- one that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Quickly she stood straighter, whipping around and coming face to face with a man she never thought she was going to see again. Tears streaked her cheeks, and all of a sudden her pain turned into an anger she hadn’t felt in a while. Anger of him leaving, of him not saying a single word as to where he was going. ❝You -- what are you doing here?❞

Neal knew he had been in the wrong, up and leaving without a word. But he needed too -- he had made a mess of things, especially between him and Leanne. She had every right to be pissed with him, and the shove that she just gave him was definitely warranted. His hands went up with no defence. ❝Jesse called me.❞ 

Leanne shoved him again, her face contorting with anger as tears continued to slip from her eyes. ❝He called you, you of all people.❞ She stepped back from her own force, Her arm coming up as her index finger shot out at him. ❝You left me -- you just, LEFT. Without a word and you think coming back now is going to fix it?❞ Her voice cracked from betrayal. Shaking her head she turned around and grabbed her back, flinging it on her shoulder and starting to move away, but she backtracked, turning back around to him. ❝I want to know -- because I’ve tried to find the answer myself, why, why you left without saying anything.❞ 

He shifted on his feet, inhaling sharply. ❝I was there for you Neal -- when Christa left, I was there to help you and comfort you. You can’t just declare that you love me for whatever many years -- I -- I let you in! And then -- ❞ She tensed her jaw, her bottom lip quivering as she shook her head again. ❝I opened my heart to you, because I loved you too and then, then you just leave.❞ 

Leanne stepped back when he attempted to move closer. He didn’t deserve her, not after what he had done. Even after he explained he knew she wouldn’t want him. ❝I had to leave, because I made a mess out of things.❞ It was his turn to shake his head, ❝Being with Christa was a front, Leanne. You know that, I knew that and she knew that. Grace coming back was just an out for her, it was easier for her and I to admit the feelings for Grace than to admit what I hold for you.❞ -- ❝And going to you wasn’t a mistake, I -- you have been the only person that had been there for me. And I loved you, love you for that. I had to leave, because I needed to find myself a bit.❞  
Scoffing at him she folded her arms over her chest, ❝Yeah -- well did you find out who Neal Hudson is?❞ Neal shook his head no, which elicited another scoff from her throat. ❝What a waste.❞ Leanne drew in a shaky breath before turning back around and heading towards the ramp that would lead her back to the parking lot. 

❝I did find out one thing -- that I’m not truly who I am without you, Leanne.❞ He watched as she kept walking, even though her steps slowed he knew that she wasn’t going to turn around. However, she needed to know this. ❝You’ve been the best part of me for the past twelve years, and I was an idiot not to see that -- I know me leaving hurt you,❞ Neal followed her down the ramp, even if her back was turned and she wasn’t willing to stay she was going to hear him. ❝And I’m sorry for doing that, because the last thing I’ve ever wanted to do was hurt you. I didn’t find myself because I never needed too -- as long as you were there I was found, I was who I am and -- and I love you.❞ His last three words got her to stop, but not turn around. 

Neal watched as she toyed with the idea of turning around, but instead she kept walking forward. He stopped his steps as she made her way to her blue car, and just like that she disappeared down the mountain. It was going to take a lot for him to try and convince her that he did love her, that he knew he had been stupid for leaving after that one night they had both waited too long to give into. He was going to try and fix this, even if it meant losing her for the very last time.


End file.
